Each couple has their own understanding of what good and bad relationships are. While some would think arguing about everything is harmful, others find great pleasure in a difference of opinion. However, there are some behaviors that fall into the 2 categories of unhealthy relationships, according to psychological research.
Bright Side is here to make sure you live a happy and fulfilling life with your significant other, so keep scrolling to learn which type of couple you belong to.
1. Conflict avoiders
If you and your partner do your best to keep things perfectly stable, then you’re a conflict-avoider couple. You both have your own personal interests, so each one of you believes that the relationship is “good enough.” That’s why you refrain from expressing what you need from one another.
People in this type of relationship don’t look for things of personal advantage, but rather, they focus on areas of agreement. However, try not to avoid conflict too much because there’s a chance your partner might start seeking attention, likely leading to cases of infidelity.
2. Volatile couples
You might find your relationship extremely passionate and emotional, and in this case, you fall into the category of volatile couples. Sharing your point of view with your partner is easy because you do it both with respect, humor, integrity, and goodwill. Your relationship is based on communication, empathy, teasing, laughter, and honesty.
And It’s no surprise that the Gottman Institute believes this kind of couple can be quite happy.
3. Validating couples
If you always work hard to understand each other’s perspectives of things, then you’re a validating couple. You confront your issues in a soft, calm way and, most importantly, your relationship is characterized by support and compassion. You usually apologize to your partner by saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” because you understand what compromising is.
You fall into the 3 happy couples categories as an intermediate between conflict avoiders and volatile couples — neither too emotional nor too cool.
4. Hostile couples
Do you generally notice high levels of defensiveness with a lot of criticism in your relationship? Do you feel like all that your partner cares about is their own felt sense of being right? If that’s the case, you fall into the category of the first dysfunctional couple style known as hostile couples. Unfortunately, conflicts here are not a way to solve problems, but instead, are a real mess since there’s no support or understanding between partners for one’s point of view.
You may also notice that you are using the terms “you always” and “you never” a lot, and one might start withdrawing themselves slowly. According to research, this type of couple tends to remain together in an unhappy union.
5. Hostile-detached couples
When it comes to your relationship, the hostile feelings and behaviors are there: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, but with the additional willingness to detach from each other. You just feel like there’s nothing to fight for because the trust has already been eroded.
As mentioned above, people in this type of relationship are quite hostile with each other, just like the type of the hostile couple, but the difference is that this one is divorce-prone. Emotional abuse is a constant in this group because the 2 of you keep fighting until you’re exhausted and burned out.
Which type of couple do you believe you fit into? We’d love to know about it in the comments!